How did the football pitch end up as a triangle?
Somebody took a corner!


What did one candle say to another?
"Don't birthdays burn you up?"


Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many knights.

What kind of pet did Alladin have?
A flying carpet!

Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?
He wanted Mark Antony!

Teacher: Make up a sentence using the word lettuce!
Pupil: Let us out of school early.

What tea do footballers drink?
Penaltea!

Teacher: What hapens to gold when it is exposed to the air?
Pupil: Its stolen!

Where do you find a bithday present for a cat?
In a cat-a- logue.

Teacher: Can anyone tell me what sort of animal a slug is?
Pupil: It is a snail with a housing problem!

What is a cow's favourite show?
Dr.Moo!