- I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

- I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

- CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

- If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," call them and ask if they meant you or them.

- Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

- McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

- Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

- A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

- Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

- Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

- The Mafia is laying off judges.